Adjusting to Life after Divorce
It is common for the woman to be viewed as the victim when it comes to divorce. However, the truth is that divorce is devastating for all parties involved. Figuring out how to start over when your marriage has come to an end is often one of the most difficult things you can face. Below is some advice for moving on:
Focus on your children
Just because your marriage failed, it does not mean that you can check-out on your children. You are still their parent and still responsible for their well-being. Don’t let your divorce do irreparable harm to your relationship with your children. Your children need you now more than ever, so take advantage of the freedom you now have to parent the way you want and have a more fulfilling relationship with your kids.
It is natural for you to analyze what went wrong in your relationship and to ask “what if.” However, you cannot dwell on this type of counter-productive thinking for long. Once the divorce is final, you need to focus on moving on. If necessary, allow yourself 30 minutes every day to think about the divorce. Once that time has passed, force yourself to think about other things. When it enters your mind, remind yourself that you will think about it during your allotted time. You might be surprised at how this technique can allow you to clear your mind and move on.
If you date, be selective on who your kids meet
It is normal (and healthy) for you to get back out there and date. However, even if you are ready to meet new people, your children do not need to meet every woman you take out to dinner. Keep your love life private while your children are adjusting to post-divorce life.
You should also try to take new relationships slowly. Don’t rush into another commitment because it may be a rebound relationship. It is easy to feel like you are in love when everyone is on their best behavior, so it is suggested that you wait at least a year before committing to a relationship.
Learn from your mistakes
Regardless of how your spouse may have wronged you, nobody is totally blameless in a divorce. Thus, it is important to learn from your mistakes. Consider what needs were not met and what is most important to you going forward.
If you need assistance with your divorce, contact the Men’s Divorce Law Firm today. Our approach to family law is quite simple: we listen to you; we return your calls promptly; we keep you prepared and informed; we respect your time; we understand your concerns; and, most importantly, we care.