According to an article by Brittany Wong for The Huffington Post, people who divorce in their 20s are really hard on themselves. Maybe it is because many of their other friends are in the process of planning their wedding or maybe they feel like only being married a few years is somehow a bigger failure than divorcing after a decade. Whatever the reason, below are a few pieces of advice if you are facing divorce in your 20s:
- Divorcing while you are young has one advantage over divorcing later in life – most couples have fewer assets to fight over in their 20s. You may not have children yet, which can also make the process less stressful because there is no custody battle involved. As a result, you may be able to avoid litigation by negotiating a settlement or mediating your divorce.
- Acknowledge that you were young and naïve when you got married. Looking back, we can all find decisions that we would make differently as an older adult. Forgive yourself and make a resolution to learn from your past mistakes.
- Try to view your divorce as a stepping stone in your life. It is normal to spend time grieving the loss of your marriage, but you must ultimately move on. Think about what you want to do differently in your next relationship, which means taking some ownership of what went wrong in your first marriage. You don’t want to drag the same “junk” into your next relationship.
- Although moving on is important, you should be careful not to move too quickly into a new relationship. This is often referred to as “rebounding.” It is crucial that you take time to figure out who you are as an individual before you jump back into being half of a couple.
- You will be tempted, but resist venting about your divorce on social media. It is healthy for you to talk over your feelings with your closest friends, but your Facebook friends do not need (or want) to hear about your divorce drama. Additionally, if your divorce is not final, your posts can get you into trouble or cost you money in court.
Finally, let go of any guilt or shame you are feeling about your divorce. Once you have held yourself accountable for your part in the divorce and learned from your mistakes, stop obsessing and move on. Focus on what you have learned from the experience and do better in the future.