If your parents divorced when you were a child, you likely promised yourself that you would never subject your children to the same. Sadly, many cannot keep this promise. None of us can predict infidelity, dishonesty or other dysfunctions that lead to the downfall of a marriage.
The author Jessica Hoefer-Land proposes that divorce is a lonely path filled with confusing emotions and judgments by others. Yet, in many cases it is an escape from living a life of mediocrity or worse, total unhappiness. She recommends that we should offer compassion, not judgment, to those building a new life post-divorce.
To make matters worse, your divorce forever changes your children’s lives. The guilt parents feel when their marriage fails is multiplied tenfold when there are children involved. The impact on your children can last a lifetime. What type of example are you setting for your children? Can you be a good parent after divorce?
If both parents are dedicated to doing what is best for their children, they can work together to maintain a solid relationship for their children’s benefit post-divorce. You can both remain active in their schooling, activities and health. You might be surprised at how your communication with your children improves when you are acting intentionally with the time you spend with them.
Ultimately, it comes down the fact that children have a better chance of thriving if you have a healthy post-divorce relationship than if you remain in an unhappy or dysfunctional marriage. Live after divorce will be different, but it doesn’t have to be bad. Families come in all forms, so don’t worry about fitting the traditional mold. Focus on what is meaningful, which is remembering the good times and making new ones.
Men often find it difficult to find a divorce attorney who understands the unique male perspective on family law matters. If you are facing divorce or you have other family law needs, our legal team is here to help. Contact the Men’s Divorce Law Firm to schedule a consultation with a caring professional, and aggressive advocate for men’s rights in divorce, child timesharing (custody), and paternity matters.