Post-Divorce Mistakes to Avoid

The divorce rate in the United States has been too high for a long time. Millions of families across our country are dealing with a wide variety of issues and needs.

If you are facing divorce or you have recently obtained a divorce, it is important to avoid making a bad situation worse. We all know that divorce causes damage, but there are certain things you can avoid to help ensure that you don’t make matters worse.

Below are a few things to consider as you enter into a divorce or emerge from one:

• Do not sabotage your children’s relationship with their other parent. In most instances, a child needs both parents in his or her life. Your child will adjust much easier to the divorce by having both parents to rely upon.
• Never speak negatively about your ex-spouse in front of your children and do not let them be disrespectful of her either.
• Do not use your children as pawns in a game focused on getting back at your ex-spouse. Putting your children in the middle, or making them choose sides, is extremely detrimental to them.
• Your children are not your spies. Do not force them to provide you information about your ex-spouse.
• Do not take out your frustrations or anger toward your ex-spouse on your children. Even if your child is the spitting image of your ex, it is not your child’s fault that the marriage failed.
• Work to make the holidays and other family events as comfortable as possible. There are times when you and your ex will be forced to be around each other. Try to be as amicable as possible for the benefit of your other family members.
• Remember, you are the support system for your children, not the other way around. It is not healthy for your child to feel like he or she must take care of you because you are hurting or lonely. Your child is not an adult, so don’t treat him or her like one.
• Don’t make your child feel guilty for spending time with your ex-spouse or her side of the family.
• Don’t spoil your children to make up for time you don’t get to spend with them.
• Try to create a mutually agreeable parenting plan with your ex-spouse. Focus on meeting the needs of children in a way that is consistent at both homes.

The above are just a few examples of steps you can take to have a healthy family life post-divorce. The most important thing is to remember is to act with integrity and put your children’s interests first.

Men often find it difficult to find a divorce attorney who understands the unique male perspective on family law matters. If you are facing divorce or you have other family law needs, our legal team is here to help. Contact the Men’s Divorce Law Firm to schedule a consultation with a caring professional, and aggressive advocate for men’s rights in divorce, child timesharing (custody), and paternity matters.