1. Keep Your Money and Emotions Separate
When it comes to divorce, trying to mix money and emotions is like trying to mix oil and
water. They don’t mix, and trying to meld the two can cause a real mess. Granted,
divorce is an emotional time, but it is first and foremost a business negotiation. You
must be prepared to carry yourself in a business-like fashion, both in your lawyer’s
office and in court. So do your crying before – or after – on the shoulder of a friend,
family member, or therapist. Everyone wants his or her fair share of the economic pie,
but a vindictive attitude will hamper your case and increase the cost of you divorce. If
you marriage must end, try to make your divorce a success and to create the second
chance you both need. It is critical to hire a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst
(CDFA™) to help you structure your budgetary needs. While Financial Advisors and
Accountants are also excellent with numbers, only a CDFA™ specializes in divorce.
2. Develop Alternative Sources of Income
The financially dependent spouse – often the wife – may have to put
aside her own career development in favor of raising the family, never suspecting
that divorce would come along. That’s why so many dependent spouses are
surprised that divorce may force them into the workplace, even though they lack
the training, or their credentials are out of date. Unless you or a child is disabled,
divorce is a great time to get career counseling, and maybe even go back to
school. Think about a settlement that includes funds for tuition, books, and living
expenses while attending school and getting a career on track – or back on track.
There’s nothing like knowledge and a fulfilling career to bolster self-esteem and
get the mind in focus, especially in today’s challenges.
3. Getting Good Professional Advice is a Necessity
When you get divorced, you need all the help you can afford. Nine times out of ten,
bargain shopping may result in getting less than you deserve or, alternatively, paying
more than you should. So make sure to interview, and hire not only a good lawyer, but
also professionals who can advise you about the long-term financial aspects of your
case. I highly recommend finding a CDFA™ to help guide you through the financial
maze. And if you and your spouse still talk but can’t agree, think about using a
Collaborative approach to divorce to help you work out the details. You may want to see
a good therapist to help you through the emotional crunches that always accompany
divorce. Most importantly, don’t rush things because the divorce process takes time. Be
prepared to take as much time as necessary to plan your divorce – just as you did when
you planned your wedding. This is your opportunity for a new beginning.
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