The divorce is over, but the relationship isn’t when you have kids to raise together.
That doesn’t mean, however, that things can’t improve. You both have a common goal of keeping your kids healthy and happy.
It’s imperative that you and your ex work together to make this happen. So here are a few helpful hints to help your modified family create the best environment possible for the sake of the kids.
Keep Your Perspective
The above is easy to skip over on your way to the helpful hints, so let’s remind you again: This isn’t about your divorce anymore.
Many folks lose their perspective once they settle into their new lives. The ink on the final decree has been dry for days, weeks or even years, but they carry the same scars from the preceding marriage.
That’s exactly what you shouldn’t do.
Whatever issues you two had during your time together does not need to carry over. Not only do you need to let it go for the sake of your kids, you also need to do it for yourself. You can’t find your own happiness carrying around that weight.
Once you do so, you’ll find it’s much easier to keep your “new” relationship centered on the kids. Even if a few of the things that irked you about your ex are related to your kids, you need to let him or her parent their way when the children are with them, so long as it isn’t endangering your child’s well-being.
Keep Each Other in the Loop
You may not want to talk to your ex. That’s the whole reason you got divorced. However, parenting requires coordination. And nobody can coordinate something without knowing all of the details.
You want to sign the kid up for soccer? Great! Maybe you think counseling is in the children’s best interest. That’s commendable as well. However, don’t do it without letting your ex know. These types of ventures will require drop offs and pick ups. That probably means you need both parties in the loop to make the effort worthwhile.
Write up a Plan
That leads us to our last quick point: Write up a plan and try your best to stick to it.
The court likely required you to include a parenting plan in the separation agreement. That handles who is going to be with what parent at what time and when the exchanges will occur.
That’s a solid starting point.
However, to make things even easier, you can work out a more detailed plan with your ex that will smooth the transition to everyone’s new lives. This can include things like practices, games, recitals, and extend all the way to bigger decisions like schools or prospective babysitters. This will help you deal with potential issues before they arise.
Need help dealing with a family law issue? The Men’s Divorce Law Firm can help. We have knowledgeable and experienced attorneys that can guide you through all of your options to find the best choice for you. Contact us today to schedule an initial consultation.