Divorce can bring out a lot of very strong emotions. When you are hurt, it is natural to feel angry and to want to lash-out or vent to others. However, while it is good to have close friends to talk to, it is also detrimental to vent publicly about your soon-to-be ex-spouse.
When you and your spouse announce you are divorcing, it is big news. Naturally, those that know you will want to hear about it. While “over-sharing” can feel therapeutic at the time, you may later regret it. Telling others what an awful person your spouse is can help you cope with or justify the break-up, but it is also a way to soothe your pain.
Revealing your spouse’s personal life can be damaging for everyone involved. Once mutual friends and family know that she cheated, had a drug problem, was addicted to shopping or whatever other types of dirty laundry you decide to air, it can be embarrassing and humiliating. It can create significant issues. For one, what if you decide to reconcile? Do you really want everyone to know your secrets once you get back together? Also, what if your children find out you are speaking ill of their other parent? Is that the example you want to set? Finally, revealing your spouse’s secrets is simply hitting below the belt. Divorce can get mean, but do you really want to be the bad guy?
If your ex is telling your secrets, it can be really tough to take the high road. However, the best thing you can do is try to let it go to some extent. Set the record straight with those that you care about, but after that, you have to move on. You must also resist the urge for paybacks. Stooping to your ex’s level and revealing her secrets will only make you feel bad about yourself and make you look petty. Your ex is only acting this way because she is hurt and angry.
Divorce can bring some ugly realities. However, if you are prepared for the possibility, it can make it easier for you to handle it when it occurs. Just remember that this too shall pass.
Whether your divorce is amicable or full of disputes, we are here to help. Contact the knowledgeable attorneys at the Men’s Divorce Law Firm. Our office is located in Orlando, Florida, but we proudly serve husbands and fathers across the State. The firm also serves men out of state with child custody interests in Florida.