Divorce, as sad as it can be, can also mean new opportunity, a happier life, and a more peaceful existence. So, when it comes to divorce and the new year, there are certain new year’s resolutions every divorced person should consider. Jackie Pilossoph reports for The Huffington Post.
1. I will treat my ex with kindness and respect.
Are you rolling your eyes? Don’t! Treating your ex pleasantly is good for YOU and good for your kids. Have you ever heard anyone say, “I wish I wouldn’t have been so nice?” No.
2. I will only talk about my ex in a good way in front of our kids.
When kids hear their mom or dad talk about the other in a negative way, it seriously kills them. They hate it so much. Please, call a friend and use every four letter word you can about your ex if you need to, but do it in private.
3. I will stop looking at old photos of my ex until I can do it without crying.
Why are you torturing and/or punishing yourself? This is so unproductive. Do you realize how huge this earth is, and how many people are on it? Your ex is only one person and somewhere out there, there is a great guy or girl that is a better person for you. And you will meet that person if you have an open heart.
4. I will make more of an effort and keep an open mind when it comes to dating.
This is the year to say yes to blind dates, get your profile up on a dating site, and reach out to that person who you know has an interest in you. What are you waiting for? Life goes by fast. You deserve to be happy! Start living!
5. I will take the high road, regardless of how my ex is acting.
In case your ex doesn’t get around to making similar resolutions, and he or she is his or her same old self, acting rude, being short, saying cruel things, just let it roll off of you like rain on a plastic rain coat. If you act polite, you will never be sorry. What good does acting rude back do? Nothing but hurt your children.
6. I will stop talking about him/her to everyone who will listen.
No one wants to meet you for a beer and hear about how nasty your ex is. They want to watch football and talk about how the Chargers just blew the playoffs.
7. I will appreciate my body and my health and stop focusing on my physical flaws.
Instead of worrying that you just gained 10 pounds during the holidays, focus on the fact that you are healthy enough to go to the gym and lose it. Focus on highlighting what you HAVE and lastly, if you love yourself on the inside, you will like what you see in the mirror.
8. I will stop analyzing what went wrong or what I did wrong.
Leave the past in the past. It’s exhausting to keep drudging it up. Aren’t you tired?
9. I will let go of the hate, anger and resentment.
If you have these things, you will not be happy. Let it go, and you’re that much closer to happiness.
10. I will start loving myself more.
If you are a good parent, and you are supporting your children, both emotionally and financially, and if you live your life trying to be a good person, what’s not to love? Being happy is all about having self love. PLEASE, strive to see all your wonderful qualities and stop focusing on what you lack. Everyone lacks things. Try to be your best self and love what you DO have.
11. I will live in the present moment and stop focusing on the past and the future.
The past will put you in a depression. The future can only cause anxiety and fear. All that matters is how you spend each day, enjoying and appreciating it like a gift, and being with the people you love.
The Men’s Divorce Law Firm wishes you a Happy New Year, and best wishes for a truly happy 2014! If you have questions regarding divorce, child timesharing (custody) or alimony please contact the Men’s Divorce Law Firm today.