There are a variety of reasons why you should consider mediation when going through a divorce. It saves money, takes less time, keeps your private matters private, but most importantly, it works because both parties feel heard and respected.
One of the most important things a divorce mediator can do is to simply listen. When each side feels like their story has been heard without interruption, it has a positive effect on the entire process. According to Alison Patton with the Huffington Post, it is important to remember that “when it comes to divorce mediation, you can honor what a person is saying without having to agree with their desired outcome or even their perspective of reality.”
Before anything constructive can occur in divorce mediation, each party should feel validated. This often has the effect of them relaxing and opening their mind to the idea of compromise. Ms. Patton’s article states that “[t]he less defensive and less emotional a person becomes, the greater the chance he or she can have a logical, intellectual discussion about the issues at hand.”
A good mediator focuses on the spouse that is speaking. This can be uncomfortable for you, especially when you’re dying to contradict something she said. However, you should remember that the mediator is listening to your spouse as a means for getting to a resolution. It does not mean that the mediator is taking her side or agreeing with her.
When the mediator asks questions, it is not for the purpose of making a judgment about who is right or wrong. Rather, it is simply to gather more information. The primary goal of the mediator is to facilitate communication in order to achieve a settlement. The tough part of communicating with somebody you are divorcing is that it often requires a substantial amount of listening.
If you approach your divorce mediation with your best listening skills in place, the mediator will quickly see that you are mature enough to respect your spouse’s position, even if you do not agree with it.
Whether your divorce is amicable or full of disputes, we are here to help. Contact the knowledgeable attorneys at the Men’s Divorce Law Firm. Our office is located in Orlando, Florida, but we proudly serve husbands and fathers across the State. The firm also serves men out of state with child custody interests in Florida.